modernmermaids.com

January 6 and everybody’s sick, including me.  But I’m not really sick in the cold and flu way, just in that I have this lovely, burning cough that makes me wonder if I’m going to be picking a lung off the floor in the near future.  It’s interesting how this started and I may be a bit at fault with a few things I’ve smoked in my life and yes, I am riddled with imperfections and have even once or twice overindulged in drinking but that was usually Amy or Bertha’s fault, ha!  Back to smoke….Did anyone hear about THIRD hand smoke?  That’s right, we don’t just have the 1. Smoker: the unbearably selfish ahole who would suck a butt in an elevator if allowed.  Sorry to those trying to quit…keep in mind I come up with this stuff for pure, self-indulgent entertainment. And 2. Those of us who willingly or unwillingly breathe the smoke from 1.  And that would be me…from the age of two my grandmothers (who I loved dearly) both smoked incessantly.  One in the car with the windows closed and the other with a cig lit in almost every room.  Back then it was acceptable and I’m sure there a many people dealing with the repercussions today from similar parents and grandparents.  Now to the third hand smoke which is something I have known about for a long time as it refers closely to volatile organic (not the good kind) compounds in the cleaning industry.  This means that the 4,000 chemicals found in the smoke of cigarettes is buried in clothing, carpets and furniture and LIFTS OFF into the air to once again poison the humans, animals and environment time and again.  Nice, huh? 

So the Today Show does a piece on the Third Hand Smoke and I want to jump up and down and shout about all the other things that are affecting us (and me specifically); the girl next to me at the gym with the overpowering perfume (aren’t we there to exercise and BREATHE!?) that’s giving me a headache and a wheeze. The guy on the beach with a cigar that I jog by and get a mouthful.  Or in the bathroom at the library where the cute little air “freshener” sprays out a mist of toxic chemicals that makes my eyes water and my nose burn.  Is there a wonder that my lungs hurt and I’m coughing?

No, absolutely not.  But as I wheeze and shudder I am once more inspired to continue the mission that I signed up for, a mission that is stronger every day, that I believe in, is important to any being that breathes and if we don’t “get” soon, could eventually extinct us. 

Chemicals can (and will) kill us. Please get informed.  Amy and I offer alternatives to every chemical cleaning and personal care product on the market.  Whether it goes on your skin or in your vacuum, we will give you ideas to rid your lives’ of toxins so that you, your family, your pets and your home will be as healthy as you can make them.

So no more cough and no more hack

let’s bring our health and breathing back!

I still wonder if anyone reads this but if there’s anyone out there who actually does, here are just a couple of things to think about….

SWIFFERS USERS DO YOUR RESEARCH.  PLEASE DO NOT CALL THE COMPANY TO ASK THEM IF THEIR PRODUCT IS SAFE….WHAT DO YOU THINK THEY’RE GONNA SAY, “NO!?”

DON’T GET A FLU SHOT!  KEEP YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM STRONG WITH NUTRITION, EXERCISE, SLEEP, ETC….OVERALL COMMON SENSE.  THE SHOTS ARE CREATING STRONGER STRAINS OF THE VIRUS EVERY YEAR THUS MAKING US SICKER OVERALL.  IT’S A MONEY MAKER FOR THE PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANIES!

OPEN WINDOWS OR BUY AIR PURIFIERS….WHY DO PEOPLE THINK THAT SPRAYING CHEMICALS INTO OUR AIR IS SAFE?  ASTHMA IS UP 600% FROM TEN YEARS AGO.

AND PLEASE, TO THE OWNER OF PESTICIDE COMPANY THAT SPRAYS AROUND MY CONDO….YOU MAY WANT TO BUY YOUR EMPLOYEES SOME PROTECTIVE GEAR…(NOT ONLY FROM ME WHEN I’M FEELING LIKE TAKING A BASEBALL TO THEM WHEN THEY SPRAY AROUND THE BABY IGUANAS) BUT ALSO FOR THEMSELVES AS THEY WALK AROUND SPRAYING WITHOUT MASKS.

SHAMPOO IS FULL OF CHEMICALS THAT PROMOTE HAIR LOSS.  AND THEN AFTER IT’S FALLEN OUT, THE WAXES CLOG THE FOLLICLE THUS SUFFOCATING THE POTENTIAL REGROWTH.  CALL ME FOR ANSWERS ON THAT ONE.

USE YOUR BLINKERS WHEN YOU DRIVE.

Ok, I’m done.  This was a boring one but I’ll get my mojo back when I’m not so busy. 

And Amy got a new bullmastiff puppy.  Her name is Izzy and of course, she is a total joy!

I wasn’t going to do this but may find it cathartic.  Amy’s absolutely sweetheart of a bullmastiff and inspiration for the pet line is no longer with us.  I have nothing sarcastic, biting or remotely interesting to say except this….love and treat your pets with the same thought that I am hopeful you are treating your families and environment.  They, too, are dying from chemicals that seep into their paws and skin from chemical products.

That’s not the case with Saylor.  She was old for a mastiff and many of their breed get cancer.  She was in pain and although, not unhappy, she wasn’t living the life that is fair as she hobbled instead of walked and could barely go to the bathroom.

I write this because as I stated she was our inspiration for the pet line and I’ve known her since Amy got her over eight years ago.  “Bullmastiff?” I asked her, not quite getting the appeal.  Having grown up with beautiful golden retrievers, I was almost appalled at her choice of dog.  And her being the epitome of a Cape Cod girl with the four Labrador retrievers her family owned when we were kids?!

Boy, was I in for a life lesson: I was a dog snob….but that was soon to change.

Saylor, while being one of the gentlest souls ever, allowed the childrens’ jumping on her and silly women painting her toenails red for the holidays (that would be Amy and me and a little wine!)  She hardly barked but her presence was enough to give a feeling of safety.  And she loved to SWIM!  When writing the label for the Silly Saylor products, every word is true….she would jump in a puddle, the canal, a pool or the ocean…all for the love of swimming!  One time when on Jupiter beach we came across a Golden Retriever group where of course, the dogs were charmingly chasing balls into the water, so perfect with their good breeding.  I looked at Saylor and asked her  “How’s it feel to be the ugly duckling in a group full of swans?”  She looked at me, squatted and puked simultaneously, and it was the perfect answer as the GR owners stood gaping mouthed and horrified.  I was almost embarrassed but then remembered that when I “baby” sit her, have never needed a leash as she listens to people and commands enough to comply.  As well as when I put her in passenger seat of my Honda, I love watching people stare at her 80 lbs. of cute/ugly beauty.

One more story…no two!  My son,Bowie, had not seen her for about four years and she was in my car surrounded by admirers when he yelled “Hey, Saylor!” from 20 yards away.  She really was not impressed with her current posse but upon hearing Bo’s voice, went crazy; wagging and wriggling until he got to her.  They had known each other since she was a pup and she obviously remembered.  They spent the weekend inseparable.  Other quick one…when Amy and I started  Modern Mermaids, because of our schedule I moved into their “guest quarters”.  One night, her hubby gone, I went over to hang out after a shower and was brushing my wet hair.  I quickly had bullmastiff butt right against me and that sweet doe eyed look.  I yelled to Amy “What’s up with Saylor? I have dog ass in my face and I’m trying to brush my hair!”  Well, Amy walked in the room, looked at us both and turned to me….”Duh, she wants you to brush her, too!”  Lesson learned.  And I, of course, went and got her brush.

Anyway, I sit here tonight and am glad that last night I went to see her, look into her eyes, kiss, hug and tell her what a great being she’s been here and as silly as it may sound, am glad I had the opportunity to know a bullmastiff who added so much love and sweetness to my best friend’s family and also, to me.

We’ll keep the labels with Saylor’s picture and be proud every time a bottle is sold.

In memory of Saylor, one of the sweetest and smartest creatures I’ve had the pleasure of knowing.

November 7, 2008.

Thank you!  I will clarify, debate and offer facts on any topic you wish to discuss and I’m sorry it took me so long to address this as the comments don’t come to me but a part of this site. My technological ineptitude sometimes leaves me at a loss and I invite you to send me personal emails or call directly.  It’s always good to have your eyes wide open. ***

So Bertha and I were out causing trouble last night ( I think we even ate our Sweet Tingly Mint Hand Soap to prove a point ) and were reminded that I’ve been neglecting the blogs.  Those of you who read it (thanks to all three!) may have noticed that I had to go in and edit any “names” that may have been mentioned.  In this litigious society one can’t be too careful.  Especially when one is telling the truth… I know sometimes I sound like an ultra paranoid freak but it’s not that.  If people would take just a moment to do a little research and think, they would believe.  And not research funded by the companies who produce toxic products, not the doctors who are paid to be mouthpieces but people who are independent and take this for the serious issue it is.  Remember one thing folks: I have been teaching and talking about this for years because it’s crucial information and very often I wasn’t paid (and haven’t accepted a dime since starting this company). Creating Modern Mermaids Products is like a dream because I get to wake up every day and know that I love what I do, it’s important work and sacrificing for a couple years in order to make this world a little “greener” is worth it.  Ask any CEO of a chemical company if they can say the same.

But I digress, as usual.  Back to the incentive behind this “diarrhea of the brain”.  After Amy and I returned from CA last week (where Amy accosted Maria Shriver in the bathroom and I tripped a Secret Service guy to get a picture with Arnold), I was laying around, tired, watching TV. 

Commercial.  Did you know there’s yet another wonderful new way to introduce chemicals to our air, skin and lungs?  It’s …….awwh, not allowed to write name or company….it’s a new scented dryer sheet that makes your clothing ”burst with freshness every time you move”.  Had to misquote a little there but you get the picture.  Where to begin with this lovely new item that introduces synthetic fragrance (neurotoxins, as mentioned in previous blogs) into the environment.  Do you ever wonder why we have skin problems, breathing problems and mental “fog”?  Maybe it’s because we inundate ourselves with completely unnecessary toxic agents.  Are we bad mothers and fathers if our kids don’t smell like “fresh scent” or a cheap perfume factory?  Get a grip as you’re off to the allergist one more time.

Have any of you ever gotten a headache from a strong smell that hit you?  Now multiply that and look into your “body burden” which includes the air you breathe.  It’s very simple.  Every human (and animal) has a cardiopulmonary system that maintains the  heart, circulation and lungs.  What do think happens when we are constantly exposed to toxins through our air, clothing and products.  That’s as far as I go….up to you to consider now.

Once again I implore you to make changes and educate people you love about these noxious things in our environment.  WE DON’T NEED SMELLY DRYER SHEETS and I didn’t even talk about what they do in your home and even outside where your vent spews the chemicals.  I just read “all the great uses” we have for them, too.  They will repel mosquitoes and bees (smarter than we are apparently), add scent to your entire home when put them in vacuum bags and keep bad odors away wherever you have a trash container.  Alternative….sprinkle essential oils onto cotton balls and they can go in dryers, vacuums and trash!  Or buy an eco-friendly brand of dryer sheet by one of our competitors until we make them.

So, when viewing the cute commercial with the catchy jingle that offers headaches, allergies and asthma attacks….think before you buy!

And sorry to the SS dude I tripped to get to the Governator but hey, got the pict!  Check it out on the press page!  and keep checking in because….

I’LL BE BACK!

In our pocketbooks, in our cars, in the bathrooms and in every classroom across the U.S.  Why?  Because God forbid we have a germ or some flesh-eating bacteria come along and get us!  Remember our grandparents?  Well, they cut chicken and veggies on the same cutting board, handled thousands of items that were covered in germs and used SOAP!  Plain old normal soap.

Now here’s the thing..let’s start with some of the ingredients:  Ethyl Alcohol, Propylene Glycol, Fragrance and the pesticide, yes, PESTICIDE, Triclosan.  Anyone as upset as I am yet?

Alcohol: simple…is inflammable and totally dries out the skin.  This is bad as it then causes micro-cracks in the hands which actually allows bacteria in anyway!  And the inflammable part…obviously isn’t safe.

Propylene Glycol: Like putting motor oil on your skin?  This ingredient is a petroleum derivative that is used in the cosmetic industry as a moisture carrier and barrier.  So now you’ve cracked the skin and introduced a nasty chemical into it.

Fragrance: As I personally don’t like chemical perfumes I may go overboard but the fact is this….synthetic fragrances are being proven to cause neurological damage to children.  With the overuse of air fresheners, candles and other “air cleaning” products, this is just one more thing that children need to filter in their little bodies.

And lastly Triclosan: I’ll give this one to The National Coalition Against the Misuse of Pesticides: 

“ Studies have increasingly linked triclosan to a range of negative health and environmental effects, from skin irritation, allergy susceptibility, bacterial and compounded antibiotic resistance, as well as dioxin contamination causing the destruction of fragile aquatic ecosystems. “

So there we go…people and the environment are “possibly” being harmed by a product that is in millions of homes, schools and hospitals around our county and one of the most important government agencies is the #1 advocate of pushing this “crucial anti-bacterial” treatment that must be used every time we use the bathroom or before we eat. 

O.K.  back to our grandparents.  They weren’t dying of bacterial infections from not constantly “disinfecting themselves”; we are now.  We have managed to create this incredible imbalance where the strains of organisms are mutating to survive.  And when the human body cannot keep up it is easy for the bacteria to attack our immune systems.  Is anyone getting this? 

I don’t do this for my ego or for money.  In fact I have spent the last year teaching for free after being a national educator in the natural personal care industry.  I don’t do this to shamelessly promote.  But because of the above facts my partner and I have created an alternative to chemical hand sanitizers.  A product that doesn’t have to have a warning label that reads “Contact Poison Control Immediately…etc” if ingested.  A product where the most “dangerous” ingredient is pure essential oil of peppermint as it may slightly sting eyes.

I hope I’ve gotten your attention as it’s only the proactive (and perhaps a little obnoxious) people who make changes and go against the tide.  MOMS and DADS!  Know your stuff!  Know what’s in your childrens’ schools and environment.  Preventative illnesses are rising everyday due to chemicals that WE CAN STOP USING!  I will do my part to educate if you will start going to school boards and demanding (yes, demanding!) that your children not be exposed to things that are not only “bad” for them but unnecessary. 

Now for my silly side….  I remember the little boy down the street who used to pick his nose and eat it, I definitely peed on my hand a time or two when I was little without washing and I have also gotten down with the dog to eat out of her bowl with her when I was six years old.  We all have stories like this and you know what???

We’re all still here.

Sitting here with Bertha at the Dunkin’ Donuts in Lauderdale trying to keep her from biting or tail whipping the lady next to us who has on the most disgusting perfume that is not only giving me an instant headache but just plain gross!  Don’t people get it that others are allowed to BREATHE in peace?!  Bertha, little problematic sea maiden that she is, has just offered to go pass gas on the lady’s head if she doesn’t move away from us soon.   You see the issue is this.  I just got to FL and my cable is not reconnected and the WIFI is too weak at my place.  I have to work and the DD is comfy, great signal and usually smells like delicious coffee and donuts (which I am fighting the partaking of).   Usually  smells good.   Until this lady, who really does look nice enough, sits a good ten feet away and we still smell her!  I’m wondering if her husband tells her that her perfume smells good or if he’s like most Americans nowadays and has no olfactory sense left to work with.  Because there is a TV in here, she and her husband have been here for quite awhile and if you’re asking why I remain her in the stench, it’s simply because I need to be working and am awaiting three emails from colleagues.  Plus I need something to  complain about, right?

Now let’s talk about why I am frustrated with this lady.  She is, at the moment, exemplifying the ignorant behavior of many who don’t realize that the chemicals in perfumes/colognes are very bad for us.  They are unnecessary (in fact a sexual deterrent for me, guys) and as we are already exposed to many chemicals in our uncontrollable environment, we should be allowed to breathe freely in the controlled places we visit.  Even the other night at an outdoor concert OUTSIDE! there was a lady that every 10 seconds I had to choke when the wind blew in my direction.  Don’t people think when they douse themselves with chemicals that it isn’t good for them?  Do they really think they smell good?!  Between the hair products, soaps, lotions, deodorants, aftershaves…… maybe Michael Jackson was right with the mask he wears out in public!  I’m almost there with him and so would you if you really knew just how toxic the synthetic fragrances are to us and the air!

Well, I hope I got the point across and now I need to go and grab Bertha’s tail before she……. oh know!  actually, though I’d rather deal with a little mermaid gas than this lady’s perfume. 

*Disclaimer.

Please do not under any circumstance drink “window cleaner”.

It’s time to get back to blogging and I’ve been told that I can be a little over zealous with my sarcastic humor.  Well, in my defense I take my job very seriously, often being considered a bit too grave when I teach.  So here’s the deal….if I don’t balance my work as an anti-chemical educator and business owner with a bit of offensive verbiage, then I’m doomed to take the undulations of life with the severity that my job lends me.  And I just won’t do it.  For a long time I have overcome situations with humor and mockery, much of which was self deprecating for my own fun and humility. 

When I tease my partner Amy she knows it’s with love (damn! she makes me write the blog) and more often than not, Bertha, our mermaid, is unoffended and quite proud of her bad behavior.

But let’s get back to the real deal….I am a passionate person who believes that if we (collectively) don’t wake up very soon than the cancer rates are going to continue to soar, our eco-system is going to continue to mutate and our oceans are going to be sh…  Yes, I just said sh.. and here’s why.  I am once again traveling and spent the week looking forward to a day on the beach in Ft Lauderdale with my son, Bowie.  Sat morning, nice breakfast, gorgeous day and WHAT?  News flash….NO ONE TO GO INTO THE WATER TODAY DUE TO SEWAGE OVERFLOW ON THE BEACHES OF SOUTHERN FLORIDA. 

 Yes, we got an amazing amount of rain yesterday causing the overflow and what does it have to do with chemicals? 

It just reminds me of our inadequacies as humans to balance…normal, natural balance of people and the earth.  Not having so much waste that we cannot control it…not having so many babies that the earth cannot sustain it and when we do, not educating them enough to take care of this place that we are allowed to call home for a few years in this life.  People, pay attention!  Stop being led by those who run the chemical companies, blast the ads into our living rooms and tell us that these chemicals are safe!  

So here’s my last thought after that and for those of you who don’t want to try to get it or find me insulting with my writing…..go drink your window cleaner.  I’m still going to try and save the world even if it means I have to shake things up a bit.  After all, history doesn’t remember the people who behave.

And I, once again, have failed at being inoffensive.